Currently, my brain is full of a nagging silence made of loneliness and emptiness. Whatever I do, it sticks to me as a chewing gum without allowing me to put an end to isolation and withdrawal.
So, let’s go for a new roller coaster ride, a new step to get through, the silence world
I’m sure that boredom never will never set in with my dear Fils de Park’s! The most difficult part of a chronic disease is to cope with the endless. I feel like a runner stuck in a race forever.
Please, could you explain to me where is the border between courage and overused medication? Or between endurance and physical exhaustion? This silence, as a shield, protects me from sadness and weakness but there is a price to pay … the loneliness!
Not so easy to talk about my condition, I get my words mixed up in trying to figure out how I could describe it. I’m so tired about this!
How we can feel happiness together with emptiness?
It is very difficult to go through this step but not impossible. I just have to understand that it is no more a fight between my dear brain mate, Parkinson, and me but more between me and my own resources.
That’s why, as a little Buddha, I try to look forward to, with confidence and peace. And hopefully, to get through this I have useful tools as meditation or yoga for instance. And most of all, a lot of support from friends and beloved ones.
It is just a hard time to cope with! But I am a hard worker! And now, I’m confident that soon, on my own, I will be able to turn off the silence in my brain! I am not afraid any more!