I have to recognize that traveling with my dear Parkinson brain-mate has tailored my trip. And, before going on my way, I was aware that I would have to take into account its inherent constraints.
But, I was far from expecting that it could also bring me closer to myself as I have never been before.
And I suddenly realized that it would have been difficult or impossible for me to do this trip within the three last years.
I was stuck into my own war. A little shadow’s fighter filled with an unstable mixture of pains, fear and sadness. I only tried to cope with, and it was already enough. I had to organized my daily life with the treatment and so on. It was really not a time for sharing feelings, for meeting people or living without any habit!
Finally, this trip happened exactly at the moment where I was able to do it!
I am lucky! So at this point, you will ask me: what has changed now? And I can respond: not everything! BUT, even if I still need habits, treatment, sport and a bit of rest… I feel more confident! I can’t put Parkinson under control but I have a deeper knowledge of it.
And during my journey I met another part of me, surely sharpened by the disease. I feel fearless and confident. I relate to others more simply and quickly.
As if life was hung by a thin thread. Living the present more intensely…
This experience is sometimes difficult but helps me to test and to push my own limits. In order to find a recipe for mixing together the desire to live, the Parkinson’s constraints and the loneliness. It’s difficult to describe what happens exactly but I feel more serene than ever!
Moreover, it allows me to feel free and light after almost four years held in custody in my own body. Clearly, it is not always easy to deal with the bad side effects far from home and the relatives, but as we were used to hear : no pain, no gain…
And even if I still really don’t know what tomorrow will be made of. For today I’m just happy to be able do it! Three weeks where I am on the road, totally immersed in the vietnamese culture and the rice paddies!